Word of the Day: 狼狽

My thoughts of people, not making sense mostly in their protocols and behaviors and thoughts around situations, the forms of action people take is more of the things that I find questionable or not even that but, more along side protocols. What I am trying to say, or ask, why do.

I don't know what was going on at the time but I chose this image so I am guessing as to what might have been the issue.

Anyway, I am currently now in this current era and time trying to battle my self loathing enough to do a face mask. I am also sort of indulging in OCD enough to sort of prolong it and make more subtasks around said event.

Basically my brain is saying, " You can't do a face mask until you clean the bathroom. " then it goes, " You can do the face mask until you Wash, Astringent, Lotion, Serum, and THEN you can do a face mask. " as that was the way most women were taught to do their face care back in the day. That also requires me to take inventory of the products that I do have.

yea I started auto writing about this being it's own Paper Project and quite frankly, yea it would be complicated enough to be considered its own paper project because it requires way more steps than you'd think.

Mom and dad seem to think that is too excessive and also that I don't even have a Project Paper free for something so frivilous.

I know this is just some form of anxiety I am having to deal with right now so, I am just handling it as I can.

I also have the ability to just push it onto tomorrow. I won't gain any time but I will be free of the worry for now.

I also thought about reconverting Top Priorities to places to go but both mom and dad do not agree with this.

That's fair. Quite frankly I rather it just be Paper Projects. It probably would allow me to manage the OCD I am building around them anyway and also prevent me from pushing too much or doing too much either way.

Current Paper Project: Instagram

Current TODO: Brush teeth.

Yea oral care seems more feasible right now.

" Get rid of the digital posts on your business account, Instagram is just going to be for paper drawings from now on. "

Yea I am almost done with this.

I did feel it is was redundant to have my drawing all on both Patreon and Instagram. I decided to separate them by medium; paper is for instagram and digital art on Patreon. Especially since most of my Commissioners on there were wanting to have promotional art or assets made for their games.

Organize backpack. Well.. I have two backpacks.. one I need to wash because some of my hydration powder drink mixes spilled and it has like pen marks on it or whatnot... i don't evne know if I can get those stains out but, either way it needs a wash.

The other one has all my paper work and such and I have been using it for that. I used to use it to carry food from the grocery store and back but since I have decided that it isn't worth it anymore, I can use it for other things now.

I know if I go through the paperwork, I will add more Paper Project tasks or TODOs but, I guess that seems like what I have to do right now.