Where the Heart Lies

Where the Heart Lies

“What the hell!” shouted Jess, jerking awake from a deep sleep. She hadn’t meant to fall asleep next to the fire, but the cold medicine she’d taken didn’t leave her much choice in the matter. Her sudden movement triggered a coughing fit that seized up her whole body and lasted a lot longer than any of the others had. When everything finally settled down, she was on her hands and knees and her whole body was throbbing in protest. She stared down at her hands until her eyes were able to focus again. Her fingernails and cuticles were dirty and ragged, something that had been a huge pet peeve of hers six short months ago. Before she could stop herself, her gaze made its way to the pale circle of white gold around her third finger on her left hand. Her heart grew heavy and tightened in her chest at the sight of where her wedding band still sat, dinged up and dirty. Tears flooded her eyes and a small sob escaped her lips.

“Oh, Ben,” she sighed quietly. She hadn’t spoken his name since she had lost him to the virus that had taken most of the world so fast and so viciously in just a few months. She tried to fight the horrific memories of news reports that blamed everything from tainted meat to polluted water, but they flooded in before she could stop them. It had taken her whole family from her. Her parents, then her twin brother, and lastly, her husband. They had thought they were both immune since it took him so long to get sick, but in the end, he had the same gray patched skin, his hair and teeth were gone, his eyes had gone blind, and his touch was cold and clammy, just like all of the others.

“Cold and clammy,” she mumbled as her eyes shot up to take in her surroundings. She remembered now what had startled her awake. She could have sworn something had touched her while she was asleep, something that reminded her of those who had died.

She stared out into the twilight that surrounded her camp and didn’t see any movement. She calmed quickly when she realized that if someone wanted to hurt her, they could have easily done so when she was hacking her lungs up. Besides, she hadn’t seen anyone for weeks, not since she had gotten north of Atlanta. The virus hadn’t been prejudiced in the least as it preyed on men, women, dogs, cats, rodents, wildlife, all but birds, it had seemed. There were still plenty of birds in the sky, but mammals were a different story. The last person she had seen was an older gentleman named Ed, her neighbor in Athens, a town outside of Atlanta. Jess had helped him to bury his wife, Ruth, and their orange tabby cat named Rex. Neither had escaped the virus, both dying on the same day. From the moment Jess had dropped the first shovel of dirt onto their lifeless bodies, Ruth in a sparkling silver dress and Rex curled in her arms and wearing a blue bowtie collar, she had begged Ed to leave and come with her away from the city.

“Jess, I will just be a burden,” sighed the old man. “I have a bad heart and worse kidneys. It won’t be long before I join my dear Ruthie, and nothing can stop that unless you have a magic dialysis machine that doesn’t need electricity. Even if you did, I would still say no. I’m tired, dear girl, so tired.” He stood and patted her gently on the cheek before he walked away into another room of his house. He returned shortly with a tote bag in each hand. He set them on the table in front of Jess before taking a seat.

“I put all the useful crap I could find around here in these bags,” Ed said with a grin. “Canned goods, flashlights, batteries, one of those fancy flexible lighters, and some other odds and ends. I want you to take all of this with you. I ain’t got no use for it, anyhow.”

“Ed, I don’t feel right..” Jess started to say before getting interrupted.

“Being stubborn ain’t gonna do you a lick of good, Jess. I also want you to take my old truck that’s out there, the tank is full, plus there was an extra gas can in the garage that is almost full. I’m not gonna be mowing anymore lawns and I don’t need it. I’ve put it and some blankets and my toolbox in the truck for you. Also, some toilet paper. You can never have too much TP!” he said with a chuckle.

“Ed, please…”

“You’re not gonna change my mind, Jess. Now tuck in that bottom lip before you trip on it and get going. No use in twiddling your thumbs about this. I want you to get into old Betsy, pop one of my Don Williams tapes in, and you sing along and you make your way north toward Chattanooga. I have a good feeling about that direction, but you should still take the backroads to be safe. I will die peacefully knowing you’re headed toward beautiful country, singing my favorite songs with your beautiful voice, and looking for a future.”

“Ed!” She half laughed and half cried. “What do you know about my singing?”

“I’ve been listening to you sing to your plants since you moved in next door,” He said with a sly grin. “It’s a damn shame you hide that voice, especially when the world needs something so lovely right now.”

Jess couldn’t say anything as the tears flowed freely down her face. She just hugged the older man tightly to her and could feel how frail he really was under his bulky sweater. In her heart, she knew he was right, he wouldn’t last much longer. It still didn’t ease the guilt and pain of leaving him behind.

“I could stay until, ya know,” she whispered against his shoulder.

“I will have none of that,” he said firmly. “After all you’ve lost, I want you to have only good memories left of me, dear. Now go on, before I get cranky.”

“I love you, Ed,” she whispered again as she hugged him once more before moving away.

“Hard not to,” he grinned, “I am a very loveable man.”

“Modest, too,” Jess chuckled.

“Go, darling. Keep making me proud.” With those parting words, he patted her shoulder and walked away, clearing the road for her to leave. She stood there for several minutes before she was able to make herself grab the keys from the hook by the door and climb into the cab. After she started the truck up, she put a tape into the deck, rolled the windows down, and started singing along to Lord, I Hope this Day is Good, before backing out. Tears rolled down her face for a long time as she drove away from her whole life, leaving it all behind her.

She pulled into a campsite that had cabins on Nickajack lake, just outside of Chattanooga. She started to get out of the truck, but remembered the toolbox that Ed had put in the truck and decided to grab a wrench from that before getting out. She didn’t know how much help it would be if she got attacked, but it was better than nothing. Once she reached the office, she quickly saw that nobody was there and hadn’t been for a long time, if the thick layer of dust on everything was any indicator. The shelves still had canned goods, bottled water, kerosene, and all kinds of other goods that would certainly be helpful.

Jess had been at her new campground home for nearly a month when she woke up early one morning with a tightness in her chest and alarm overtook her. It took her several minutes to calm herself and remember that nobody that got the virus had any symptoms like a tight chest and cough. She shook her head as she realized that even with the end of the world happening around her, she was still going to have allergies to dust and mold. Just great. She hoped she would get some relief from the cold medicine still on the shelf in the little store, but soon realized she had some kind of respiratory infection and would need an antibiotic. The thought crossed her mind more than once to just let it go and to see if it would take her out of this world. She was so painfully lonely and sad, it ached to her very core. She had talked herself out of giving up because the thought of buzzards and crows picking at her lifeless body freaked her totally out, but the image was growing less dissuading every day.

Awake now, Jess dumped the contents of a few cans into the cast iron pot sitting on the grate over the fire to keep herself busy. She wasn’t really hungry, but knew she needed to eat. She glanced up from the pot to see a set of eyes staring at her from across the fire. She let out a little squeal before rushing to stand up and arm herself with a piece of firewood. She let out a huge sigh mixed with a bubble of laughter when she saw who the eyes belonged to.

“Well hi there,” Jess said in a voice reserved just for dogs. “Who are you?”

Across the fire, a large dirty blonde dog started to wag his tail at the sound of her voice. He took a few hesitant steps toward her and put his nose up to sniff the air.

“Are you hungry?” She asked, as if he could answer. “I definitely have enough to share. It’s soup I made with canned veggies and chicken.”

His tail moved faster at the word “chicken” and he came even closer. She could see then that he wore a green collar that said “Tucker” on it. There was also something shiny around his neck that picked up the light of the fire, but she couldn’t yet tell what it was.

“Tucker? Is that your name?”

She was greeted with a resounding and excited “Woof” as an answer.

“Nice to meet you, Tucker. My name is Jess.”

With a proper introduction, Tucker began to hop around and bark very excited barks. This made Jess laugh her first real laugh in months. She felt the dark pit of loneliness ease up and a little hope flutter in her chest. This is what she needed, a reason to keep going. She grabbed another empty dish from her cabin, as Tucker followed close on her heels. She dished him up a huge helping of the soup and much less for herself.

“It’s not very hot yet,” she said, “but I have a feeling you won’t mind.”

She set the dish down in front of him and he hungrily gulped it up. She ate much slower, but ate it all. After eating, Tucker came to her and nudged her with his nose. She slowly reached out to pet him and saw a golden heart-shaped locket around his neck next to his collar. He seemed to hold very still as she inspected the locket and saw that it opened up. Inside the locket was a folded piece of paper. Jess pulled it out and unfolded it. She leaned closer to the fire so she could read what it said.

If you are reading this, then Tucker found you and trusts you. That’s good enough for me! Please bring Tucker and any goods you can to Townsend, TN in the Great Smoky Mountains. We have a family of survivors here and you are more than welcome!

Much love, Maggie Brewer

“Well, Tucker, are you ready to go for a ride?”

“Woof!”

“Me, too, Tucker. Me too.”