Will Smiling Make You Appear More Confident?

I smile constantly.…Not because I need or want to. It’s because I have to. For some reason, when I don’t, people think I look mad. Maybe naturally, my mouth is turned downward resulting in an angry look? I am not sure. All I know is when I run into someone, anyone, I smile broadly.

In fact, smiling works for a lot of people. According to this article by MSU Extension, smiling invokes feelings of confidence and success. It also makes your voice more pleasant to listen to.

I can vouch for that. I used to work as a voice talent. And when I smiled (all by myself in a studio) my voice came across as brighter and more communicative.

But you can smile too much. It is a thing. And if you do that, you can come across as fake and unnatural. When I go to buy a car and the sales person smiles incessantly, I get nervous. Am I getting ripped off? Is he sincere? Is he telling me the truth?

How to Make Sure Your Smile is Sincere and not Fake

This article discusses why some people use a fake smile to mask true emotions.

Say you see someone you don’t like walking down the street. At first you have a look of disdain on your face. But as they come closer you give them a smile to hide your true feelings.

That’s OK as long as you have people in your life that you can trust and don’t always have to put up the “fake smile” guard.

You can tell a genuine smile when you look at someone’s eyes. It’s true they are the windows to the soul. Because when you look at someone’s eyes and they light up, you know that this person is truly happy.

It’s the polite smile that you have to worry about. The one where their mouth turns up, but not the rest of their face. I know that one because I do it! So when I notice that forced look, and it is someone I care about, I ask.

Just a simple, “Are you OK?” Check-in. You don’t need to go on and on about how you think something is wrong and why don’t they want to talk…Etc.

You don’t want to make this person feel uncomfortable, so if they say, “I’m fine,” then reply with something like, “OK, I understand. Just a feeling I got when I saw you. Maybe I’m wrong, but if you ever do need to talk, remember I am here for you.”

That’s all. Then change the subject. One time I had that feeling when I was talking with this lady that worked at the bank. I could tell, that although she was smiling politely, I knew something was wrong. She had helped me several times before, so I knew her a little bit. She was super smart and more competent than everyone else at the branch.

As I was talking to her, I debated in my mind whether I should say something...Ask how she was doing. I decided not to, and kept the conversation professional.

The next time I arrived at the bank, about a month later, I asked where she was. They said she was forced to retire because of a medical problem. I remember feeling terrible. I wish I had spoken up the last time I saw her..Inquired about what was going on with her.

Not that I could have helped. But at least I could have listened, engaged, empathized. I have always regretted that decision. So now, if someone smiles politely but looks a little off…Even if I don’t know them well, I ask.