Scrapes and a Swollen knee

I'm a planner

And all of my plans ...

have gone .....

right

out the window!

And I feel

like an idiot.

I'd love to sit here

and wax poetic about

How many emotions

were evoked from

just

one

moment.

One highly frustrating

moment.

But I can't

there are no flowery words for this

moment.

There is just

a swollen knee

scrapes

and a general physical soreness.

And regret.

Because I had so many plans

I was so ambitious

for ONCE

in my life.

How was I ambitious you ask?

Get ready for this!

I was going to use my 5 days

off

to clean.

To clean like

I've not cleaned

in MONTHS.

Sounds relaxing

No?

Well....

No

And I know that.

But I life

at the intersection

of losing track of time

and

loving getting things done.

What was wrong with

wanting to use my free time

to catch up?

Well....

nothing.

That's human nature.

Or at least,

it's my nature

to feel better when

things are done

and my home is clean.

There was nothing wrong with my plan.

But then

I fell.

I tripped

My knee collapsed.

And now it would be easier

to list the parts of my body

that don't hurt.

Now walking is hard.

And I'm forced to remember

what slowing down

ACTUALLY means.

Now?

Instead of cleaning

I'm catching up on movies.

Instead of walking outside more

I'm working on my upper body

I'm exercising my patience.

I'm being reminded

what it is to be

Present.

I can stand outside,

that's enough.

I can still eat

and that's a gift.

My swollen knee

and scraped hands

are not a meaning for anything

or a cause to make change.

They just ARE.

And I will do my best with how

I AM.