Wake Up Call

Wake Up Call

I woke to a whiff that curled my toes,

Not coffee, no toast, just something that grows.

A cloud of funk hung thick in the air,

And there stood a man with greasy hair.

His socks had quit sometime last June,

His shirt had seen twelve full moons.

He grinned and said, Morning, my dove.

As I gagged at his armpit’s no version of love.

He smelled like a gym that lost all hope,

Like someone bathed in soup and rope.

I leapt from the sheets with ninja flair,

Sprayed Febreze like I just didn’t care.

He said, Too strong, with innocent eyes.

I said, “You need to Sanitise.

So now I sleep with nose plugs tight,

Because love is blind,

but the smell just isn’t right

dirty Jo, go bath no go.