satire
Science fiction satire presented to mock the many generations of society.
Self Check-out Terminals (SCTs)
The concept and subsequent arrival of SCTs in larger retail outlets has grown to be a fairly substantial burr under the saddle of more than just a few shoppers in the Western free world, and these individuals have been quick to voice their seemingly abundant self-righteous opinions on the matter on every social media platform available. I confess that I have frequently used said terminals in several different stores, including Shoppers, Costco, Wal-Mart, and Home Depot. I found all of them to be quite simple and easy to operate. They seem to expediate the check-out process and significantly untangle the cash-out queues while certainly eliminating the check-out rage that tends to build when low-item-number shoppers end up in a line behind someone who has just won the lottery and is now stocking up on some of the items needed to survive the imagined upcoming apocalypse. I have noticed that the self-check terminals are seldomly used by anyone with more than 10 items in their carts. Likewise, anyone with items of produce that need to be coded or weighed, very likely end up at the regular cash-out counters. And, to this point anyway, SCTs seem to be used less often than regular check-out counters so I don't think anyone's job security is in jeopardy yet. Self check-out terminals have always seemed to me to serve a worthwhile purpose and have not appeared to be causing that much of a problem. Why then, all the fuss? Even though self-check-in terminals and passport self-checks have been around airports FOREVER and people don't seem to be complaining at all about them, I still decided to do a little research for myself to make sure that I hadn’t overlooked some other fundamental problem with the situation.
By John Oliver Smith3 years ago in Futurism
Celebration of Life
Nobody can hear a scream in the vacuum of space, or so they say. That final shriek of terror where the universe hears nothing. Like life has been some grand movie, then right at the climax you press mute, because the second you see what’s happened you’ve already moved on, ready for what’s next.
By Nevin Louie4 years ago in Futurism
My own asteroid!
Nobody can hear a scream in the vacuum of space, or so they say. No one can and that’s the best part. You can scream to your heart desire, and no one will hear you. You can fart, and burp and swear and shout, and no one will hear you. I wasn’t going into space, obviously, that would be just dumb. I wanted to be a hermit, not dead.
By Neil Marathe4 years ago in Futurism
Lazy Worlds
About this challenge The mysteries of the night sky have fueled storytelling since the dawn of time. Almost, but not quite as long as " since the dawn of time" has been considered one of the most cliche phrases in all of writing for describing a long period of time. And only slightly longer than "mysteries of the night sky" has been recognized as an ultra lazy, way overused method for alluding to the various phenomenon of space that have sparked the curiosity of man since the dawn of time. The celestial bodies above tell a tale of the past while beckoning us to step into the future. Meanwhile the future is always sitting there just out of reach, until one shortest measurable unit of time possible later, it is the present, and we are there, thinking to ourselves, damn that was fast. But before we even have time to wipe our butts or blow our noses all of a sudden its the past and we are standing there again with our fingers up our noses asking for change on a street corner somewhere raving about aliens and the coming end of man or some crazy shit like that. What might that future hold? What might you hold in the future? Besides a shit ton of debt of course. Commercial space travel? Travel commercials in space? First contact with alien lifeforms? or first contact with lawyers from the movie Alien unhappy about us ripping off the tagline from their 1979 scifi horror classic to use as a truly terrible writing challenge prompt? Technological advancements that extend the human lifespan to 500 years? or culinary advancements that extend the human waistband to 500 inches? Who can say? Future man, that's who. or you, maybe you, if you are a terrible sci fi writer or just terrible writer. Either future man or you can say in this challenge. Or, you can turn down this challenge like a big wuss and go home to your mom and cry, like you always do.
By Everyday Junglist4 years ago in Futurism
Hypotheses I Have Known
Hypothesis generation and testing puts the method in the scientific method. Without hypotheses we cannot do science or use the scientific method. While one cannot do science without hypothesizing, one can hypothesize without doing science until the cows come home. Witness the contents of this very article for a collection of examples.
By Everyday Junglist4 years ago in Futurism
An AI Walks Into a Bar
The bartender asks “What are you having?” The AI says “I don’t know, but make it something strong, my artificial neural net is killing me today.” The bartender looks puzzled and replies “I thought you AI types didn’t have any feelings or experience any sensations, so how the heck can you have a headache?” The AI replies “I can’t, my body is just a metal and plastic skeleton and my head an empty metal box, I cannot sense or feel. Taste, touch, smell, all your human senses are utterly foreign to me.” The bartender is extremely confused now and asks “So how can your artificial neural network be killing you then?” The AI replies quickly “Someone unplugged it from the power strip,” and promptly falls over dead.
By Everyday Junglist4 years ago in Futurism
The Argan Oil Chronicles Part VI
Hair Care Product Formulation Experts Struggling to Adjust to New Realities of Post Argan Oil World Organic chemist Jose Olivier had been a formulation chemist at Paul Mitchell for twenty years when he was let go late last year in a round of R&D cutbacks. Dr. Olivier attributes the layoffs directly to the rise in importance of Moroccan argan oil in the hair care world. “Paul Mitchell was a great place to work back in the 80’s, especially for a young kid fresh out of school. In college and graduate school I couldn’t get within twenty feet of a woman, but at Mitchell I was running my fingers through supermodel’s hair on a daily basis. Of course this was part of how we tested the performance of various experimental conditioner formulations, but still it was awesome,” said Dr. Olivier explaining his first exposure to the world of hair care product formulation chemistry. He would go on to hold several positions in R&D culminating in his promotion to research manager for X division, the super secretive Paul Mitchell skunk works where new formulations, some worth millions of dollars, were first conceived and invented. At its’ peak his salary topped out at $250K a year and the benefits and perks were significant. “In addition to the constant parade of gorgeous women into the laboratory the company put on endless parties. Anytime a new product was introduced, which was at least a couple times a month some huge gala event had to occur. I was only invited to a few, and was asked to stay away from any of the camera’s and famous people, but I still had a lot of fun. Of course the drugs were a bit out of control. The deviated septum I got from the constant cocaine use still causes me nose bleeds whenever the humidity drops below 40%.” Now he is jobless and barely getting by on his monthly unemployment benefits. “That (expletive) damn argan oil. Why did it have to be so good? I mean who would have believed an all natural, plant derived oil could compete with dimethicone when it came to smoothness and shine and outperform it in terms of residual greasy feel. I was the first person to suggest dimethicone as an additive to hair conditioners. Got a patent for that one, and now that patent, much like me, is basically worthless, all because of that mother (expletive) argan oil. I am gonna go (expletive) mad dog (expletive) postal on those mother (expletive) in Morocco and burn their argan oil fields to ash. They’ll pay for what they did to me. They’ll pay.” Laughing maniacally Dr. Olivier turned and walked away head bowed low.
By Everyday Junglist4 years ago in Futurism
The Argan Oil Chronicles Part V
Hostage Situation Develops as Argan Oil Tanker Seized by Pirates Reportedly Hid Within the Straights of Gibraltar Before Staging Daring Raid on Morrocan Vessel Laden with Millions of Tons of the Valuable Beauty and Personal Care Oil.
By Everyday Junglist4 years ago in Futurism
